Perils of the Sea
James A. Quinby
The first time I signed as mate, the Old Man says to me,
"Don't forget that cargo damage comes from Perils of the Sea."
And so through all my years of sailin' ships in sun and fog,
I know the proper answers when I'm writin' up my log.
Did some rivets get corroded in Starboard Number Four?
Did we stow our reefer cargo on the fire-room floor?
Don't worry, Lad. The log will show the working of my plan.
I can multiply the Beaufort Scale as well as any man.
So if your cargo suffers little mishaps such as these –
If we stow your tea and coffee in with Gorgonzola cheese
And the slight resultant odor causes claims from consignees,
I rouse the vasty deep and magnify the vagrant breeze.
Such damage, Lad, is always due to Perils of the Seas.